Kjwan - Pause

A facebook friend shared this yesterday and I'm glad I took time to check it out. I instantly liked it. May something sa song na 'to na makabagbag-damdamin. May namimiss yata ako nun kaya medyo matindi ang dating.

Nang pinakinggan at binasa ko ulit ang lyrics ngayon, napasecond guess ako. If I can personalize it, uhmmm..I would say that it can be a song about Him. I learned that other people in the internet thought so too. Siguro wala na 'kong namimiss nito kaya si God naisip ko sa song. Hehe.

I thought I didn't need you*
Thought I could rule the world without you by my side
As the world bears down on my shoulders
I find the fear doesn't subside
Where have you been?
I've been so alone
I don't know how I've lasted this long
You said "The fires won't consume you,
And in the rivers you won't drown"
I wish to pause this moment
'Cause as I cry I start to realize
What's missing was you
I need you
You give me strength
You take away my fear
There was a void in my heart that only you could fill

Hillsong - You'll Come

I can't help but lose myself over this song.
For everything I am praying for...for who God is to me...

I have decided I have resolved
To wait upon you Lord
My rock and redeemer shield, and reward
I'll wait upon you Lord

As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
As certain as the dawn appears

You'll come let your glory fall
As you respond to us
Spirit Rain, flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come.

We are not shaken we are not moved
We wait upon you Lord
Mighty deliverer triumph and truth
We wait upon you Lord
As surely as the sun will rise you'll come to us
Certain as your word endures.

Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed

The Best Christmas Gift galing kay Bro

I got it yesterday, this thing that I've saved for, worked for, and prayed for. After a little over a year, God gave it na, on a perfect timing- Christmas season :)

Father, You are so good and you give good gifts to Your children. I praise You and I thank You.

God, sana po yung iba ko pang pinagpipray...ibigay mo na next year. Medyo matagal kung Christmas gift...pwede hanggang 2nd quater? Joke.

I love you Jesus.

A Prayer for the New Year

By Joel Osteen

Father, thank You for getting us through 2009 and leading us into an exceedingly abundant, far-and-beyond decade. We declare what You said in Your Word that with long life You will satisfy us. We believe that You are guiding and directing us. We aren't going back; we're moving ahead and going into this New Year by faith. We aren't looking at the size of our problems; we are looking at the size of our God. You are bigger than any sickness or disease. You are bigger than any marital problem. You are bigger than any financial difficulty. You are bigger than the job reports and the housing market, and we receive every blessing You have for us by faith.

Father, thank You for healing our emotions. Thank You for giving us beauty for ashes. Lord, You said let the weak say I am strong, and so we declare that we are strong, we are blessed, we are free, we are forgiving, we are focused, we are equipped, we are accepted, we are established, and we are well able to do what You've called us to do. We declare that our best days are right out in front of us! Let us be an example of Your goodness to the world around us, and let everything we do this year bring honor to Your name.

We declare today that 2010 will be a new year in our lives. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Doctor, Doctor, I am...lovesick

Nag-absent ako some few weeks back because of my sore throat. So, I had to get checked kasi I needed a med cert. Lumabas ako ng bahay na umaambon at ang sama ng pakiramdam ko. It was one of those bad days at tamad na tamad ka talaga.

I was surprised when I met the doctor. He wasnt wearing the white gown and he doesn't even look like he's 30. Mukha lang siyang gaya ko, nag-absent at kelangan ng med cert. But I remember him being so nice, caring and very decent. And while I was paying at the cashier, the nurse handed him my med cert that he needed to sign, and I overheard them talking about how the nurse was suprised that he goes to VCF pala, and attends small groups...and I remember thinking..."and he's a Christian." And they carried on, for quite a while, talking about this church stuff, hawak pa din ng dok yung med cert ko and I was still waiting for him to sign it. I just waited.

I almost never blog about crushes and boys. Ngayon lang. I got his name and license #, but no, I don't have plans of stalking him. I'm just fascinated...how meeting him changed my mood from bad...to good. I'm just amazed. When I meet the guy for me, that's how I'd like it to feel. It feels right, like the heaven is smiling or something. =) Mushy.

Then one day naman on the same week, I went to Mega Mall. And while I was there, with all these people around me that should make me feel little and insignificant, I felt God's love. I should feel insecure but I felt peace. It's amazing. Na parang, sa gitna nilang lahat, I knew my place and I knew my purpose.

This thing...(cough, cough), love...is unbelievable.

Mean Girl

I try to be good as much as possible because I feel good if I'm good, I feel terrible if I'm bad. Kaya wala akong bisyo. I don't have a hard time saying no to these things. If there's one thing though that I can't change-it's being cranky.

Lately, sobra 'kong nagiging mainitin ang ulo at mareklamo. And sobra din naman akong nagiging conscious kaya I try to do something about it. There are days that I'm successful, but it's frustrating when I'm not. My colleagues say it's okay, and I convince myself it's okay. But really, I feel awful.

Pano ka ba naman hindi magtataray kung nasa escalation team ka. Before I got into this team, I told myself I won't show some attitude like some of my colleagues. Now after just a few months of doing what they are doing, naiintindihan ko na.

One of the mean girls-that's me. Worried ako dati na kainisan ako sa floor gaya ng mga kasama ko, but now, I reached this point na I don't care. I know kapag naglalakad ako sa floor, may gusto nang pumana sa'kin. I don't like that idea, but really, hindi ko gustong magbago dahil sa iniisip sa'kin ng tao. I want to change kasi something doesn't feel right inside.

Not everyone understand this. I posted a bible verse in my station to remind me about this and I was laughed by one person saying he doesn't believe that. Now may nabasa akong blog of a husband who has the same thoughts about his temper. It is nice to know there are people out there that feel that same was as I do.

Last Sunday I went to VCF Gale and the pastor shared James 1:19-27 which I thought is very timely: ¹⁹My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, ²⁰for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. ²¹Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

²²Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. ²³Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror ²⁴and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. ²⁵But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.

²⁶If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. ²⁷Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Gusto kong bumait pero hindi ko magawa.

Found

Found
Hillsong

Amazing love,
now what else shall I need
Your name brings life,
it's more than the air I breathe
My world has changed,
when Your life You gave for me
My purpose found
and all that You want for me

And I've found myself in You, Lord
And I've found myself in You
And I've found myself in You, Jesus
And I've found myself in You, Lord

So take me to a place
where I can see You face to face
and all I wanna do, all I wanna do
is worship You
So take me to a place
where I can see You face to face
and all I wanna do, all I wanna do
is worship You


And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the LORD. Jeremiah 29:13-14 (New King James Version)

Happy Thoughts

TL Chester noticed that if we are in a good mood, it reflects in our performance. So just like Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore, maybe we can think of our own "happy place" to brighten up our moods.

Languange coach AJ made me write all my spiels in a paper (How may I help you today?, etc) and to remind me to smile always, he asked me to put a smiley after each sentence. =) Naweirdohan ata siya sa smiley ko because he asked, "do you smile like that, sideways?" (AHAHAHAHA. I really thought that was funny).

The past 2 months have not been really good. The internship adjustment is hard already, and my stats didnt really cooperate to make it worst. And not to mention I am having a tough time doing ministry. I only survive because God is good.

But during the times that I get so down, and yeah, I would end up crying, there is this "happy thought" that would not fail, yeah, never fails to make me smile. If I start to dwell on that thought, my mind is slowly leaving this body and start flying to happy land. And I can totally relate to how Colbie Calliat's feeling in her song "Bubbly". Then I would start convincing God, that this makes me happy talaga and sana, one day, He'll grant me my heart's desire.

I dropped by GenCon again one time, and the word for that day was about Christian's being a messenger of hope to this pessimistic world. Two pessimists met daw and instead of shaking hands, they shook their heads. =) Now there was this guy who is starting to get bald, but there was a kid who was so optimistic, instead of thinking the guy was losing his hair, he was just gaining face. HAHA. Cute.

I notice I look better in photos if I wasnt smiling. Walang wala eh, pang high fashion kasi yung mukha ko, mas maganda pag serious. Now why do I post those silly smiling shots? Mababaw kasi ako at kayang-kaya akong patawanin nang walang effort. And I am thinking, that is how I look like most of the time. Yeah, I'm bungisngis and I LOL-K-LOL, (laugh out loud kung laugh out loud). The pastor said that Christians should be bringing sunshine to overcome the darkness of this world. I think it would be nice to be Little Miss Sunshine. Haay, but because I was gifted with a melancholic temperament, I am naturally negative. So, it takes an effort to be positive, and I am getting better at it I think. Sometimes, the "happy thoughts" help.

Out of the Boat

Praning ako about Valentines this year. Not because wala akong date, dahil sanay na 'ko dun, but because our church always hold a Valentines program every year, at dahil ako na ang youth leader, ako ang in-charge.

Sobrang busy kami last quarter ng 2008. So come 2009, medyo relax lang. Pero ang utak ko natuturta sa kaiisip. The attendance is dropping, I can't seem to get the other leaders to commit, Kuya Adong can't speak to us kasi he's coming back to his work abroad, the bible school student whos been helping us will be helping another church, and it's Feb soon, how can we put up a valentines program?

Kinumbinse ko ang sarili ko na marami naman kaming na-accomplish last year, siguro okay lang if we dont have a vday program this year. But its tradition, sampung taon walang paltos! All of a sudden, this year walang program, ako ang leader, and it's my first year!

About 3 weeks before the "doom" day, nalaman ko malilipat ako ng team (escalation), which means, I have to work harder to meet people's expectations. I like it, it feels great to be chosen, but I wasnt comfortable.

Youth ministry is so unpredictable, and no matter how I try to control it, I just can't. I can't control other people.

Pero sa trabaho, papasok lang ako, huwag malelate, tapusin ang araw. Shaky man ang YM, basta okay ako sa work, I will live. Afterall, it's hard to accomplish something if your without a job or finances, right?

My job, the pay I get, and my team, is my comfort zone and that's how it is supposed to be because YM is unstable.

So being in the esca team and trying something new, I felt, was not a good idea. I like to grow, it's good to grow, but not now.

I tried to talk my TL out of it. Honestly, wala akong lakas para tanggihan ito, because it's an opportunity. Naisip ko, torete ako, and I might make decisions out of fear. If TL would think I shouldnt do it because I was half-hearted, then that's it, I'd take it as from God. But as of the time of writing, nakaka-isang buwan na ko sa bagong team.

I had my ups and downs. But in the end, we managed to have a Valentines program. And the melancholic, critical and perfectionist me, would say, it wasn't so bad. In fact, it's not bad at all! (imagine Simon Cowell saying this)

Leadership is hard. It may be the hardest thing I ever tried so far. Sobrang inis, nasabi ko pa one time na nagkaletse-letse ang buhay ko dahil sa leadership na ito. I am not a bad person, sa palagay ko =). As much as possible, I tried to do the right thing. But I can't go any higher, because the load is pulling me down. But one thing I cannot deny, sa lahat ng panahon na nahirapan ako, God always provided what we needed.

Our Pastor's wife told me that when Peter was walking on the water towards Jesus, he sank because he got scared of the waves, and Jesus scolded him saying he didnt have enough faith. But out of the 12, he was the only who one dared stepped out of the boat.

Same thing with me, I get discouraged because I look at the physical things. I can either, stay comfortable in the boat, or come out in faith, believing each Sunday will be better than the last.

Another thing that encouraged me was the verse I read: 1 Thes. 5:16, Always be joyful. Keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. My happiness should not be dependent on my circumstances. Good or bad, the bible says "always be joyful".

God, where's my Mercedes?

I watched New Life yesterday morning, and I heard something from Mrs. Chase I thought is true.

As we mature in our faith, we can't afford to be silly.

"God, I claim you are going to give me a mercedes."
Oh well, can you afford gas?
"No, but I want one anyway!"
Oh well, then, can you afford insurance?
"No, but I want one anyway!"
Do you know how to drive?
"No, but I still want one anyway!"

This is just a scenario but the message is clear. I myself is talking God into buying me the Mercedes I liked from the display (not literal though) when I know He loves us so much, he will not always do that.

He Put the Happy in my Birthday

I am 26 years old! Ngee...im getting the anxious feeling already. You see, once you get over 25, it automatically feels you're 30.

When I started getting letters addressed to me and when kids and inaaanak come by on Christmas for their gifts, I started feeling like an adult. It amazes me how I was able to get to Baguio last summer with a few church girls who are younger than me. I am not a scared girl anymore!

Something inside me though still feels like a 7 yr old kid. Nahihiya pa din ako, naiiyak, natatakot.

My birthday this year is specially challenging. A few days back, I was anxious if there will be a 'happy birthday'. We are kinda in the middle of something at home, and I was hoping a for gift from above- a birthday prince charming. If I look around me, it still is an ordinary day, and the prince charming is stranded.

Given this situation years back, I would have slit my own throat. Kidding. I guess what I mean to say is, I used to be a very negative person, but God came to my rescue and has planted his peace in me. Not everyday is a good day but God is always good.

I'd like to quote Kuya Kevin: If we want to understand how much God loves us, we simply need to look to the cross.

Good and bad things will happen to us in our life. One thing that will never change—Jesus Christ loved us so much that He died for us.

That is how I know God loves me.

I had a blast on my 25th year. Sobrang saya, I could even say life begins at 25.

I got a new job. Met new people. Learned new things. Got kilig-ed. Lots of kilig. Got broken hearted. Have I mentioned that I had a lot of kilig moments? Laughed out loud. Heard the funniest jokes. Cried myself to sleep. Grown deeper with my relationship with the Lord.

To everyone who has been a part of my amazing 25th year, may you be a family member, an old friend, a new one, or someone who's ministered to me without you knowing (Kuya Kevs, PJ, Pastor Paul, Joyce Meyer, etc.), you are all given to me by God. Thank you.

I am excited with what the Lord has in the box for me now that I am 26.

The Father's Love Letter

My Child,

Not only can I hear you, but I know everything about you. (Psalm139:1) I know when you sit down and when you rise up. (Psalm 139:2) I am familiar with all your ways. (Psalm 139:3) Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. (Matthew 10:29-31) For you were made in my image. (Genesis 1:27) In me, you live and move and have your being. (Acts 17:27-28) For you are my offspring. (Acts 17:28) I knew you even before you were conceived. (Jeremiah 1:4-5) I chose you, when I planned creation. (Ephesians 1:11-12)

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. (Psalm 139:15-16) I determined the exact time of your birth, and where you would live. (Acts 17:26) You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) I knit you together in your mother's womb. (Psalm 13:13) And brought you forth on the day you were born. (Psalm 71:6) I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. (John 8:41, 42, 44) I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. (1 John 4:16) And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. (1John 3:1) Simply because you are my child, and I am your Father. (1 John 3:1) I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. (Matthew 7:11) For I am the perfect Father. (Matthew 5:48)

Every good gift that you receive, comes from my hand. (James 1:17) For I am your provider, and I meet all your needs. (Matthew 6:31-33) My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) Because I love you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3) My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. (Psalm 139:17-18) And I rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17) I will never stop doing good to you. (Jeremiah 32:40) For you are my treasured possession. (Exodus 19:5) I desire to establish you with all my heart, and all my soul. (Jeremiah 32:41)

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. (Jeremiah 33:3) If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. (Deuteronomy 4:29) Delight in me, and I will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4) For it is I, who gave you those desires. (Philippians 2:13) I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. (Ephesians 3:20-21) For I am your greatest encourager. (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17) And nothing will ever separate you from My love again. (Romans 8:39-39) I have always been your Father, and will always be your Father. (Ephesians 3:14-15)1

Adapted from http://www.fathersloveletter.com/

Bad prices, Good God

Isang tricycle at jeep lang ang layo ng pinapasukan ko sa bahay namin. The jeepney fare was P7.50 and the fx fare was P10. The difference didnt use to matter, but now it does. P8 na ang minimum sa jeep at P15 na ang kinukuha ng mga fx drivers. That is P7 difference! Sa jeep na lang talaga ko sasakay.

Sabi ng ate ko ang luwag daw ng kalsada ngayon kasi people wouldnt take their cars on the road that much kasi nga ang mahal ng gas. Ang bigas $38 to $40! Grabe, ako na lang ang hindi tumataas.

Nakakabago talaga siya ng lifestyle for most. But I choose to believe, God is always good no matter how bad the prices now are.

Seek Ye First

Lately, I seem to have lost my peace. Parang disatisfied ako of myself, of what I do, and I was thinking of that something na dapat kong i-aaccomplish. Nandiyan dapat ituloy ko yung practice ko sa comm skills, magstart na ko magsulat, maybe its time to put up a business so makapagstart na din maghulog for a house and lot.

I really had that feeling na I have to accomplish something to prove something. I knew I was being a manpleaser, I confessed it sa Panginoon. Pero may gumugulo pa din talaga sakin. Because of that I kept on searching. I was thinking and praying to God to show me what it is that is bothering me.

One example: kanina nga I was googling, and i do not have one focus. I was googling this, tapos jump dito, jump doon. That shows lack of direction. I do not know what it is that I really want.

Kahapon sinumpong si Tatay ng sakit niya. Being used to it, I was thinking it was one of those once-a-month thing and now this month atleast its over. Surprisingly kanina umulit, and I had a negative reaction towards it. At first I was really mad at God for allowing this to happen, but I couldnt deny that I saw his hand moving, na he may have allowed it to happen, but his protection was still there. While I was alone, I had an impression in my heart. Lately I lost my sense of purpose. I had been distracted but deep in my heart, I was looking for it.

I was humbled, and I realized, what gave me peace.

Its not bad to want to be successful and want a good life. That is God's plan for me, to bless me. But I forgot to seek Him first and His kingdom...because time will come this will all be over and God has prepared a place wherein Tatay is sick no more. And I should live this life looking forward to that.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33 KJV

YOUTH CAMP 2008

We just had our church's summer camp in Baguio. Hindi naapprove ang leave ko so I had to miss a day and follow na lang. Nagbiyahe ako with Karen, Donna at E-anne. Left Cubao at 10am, and arrived in Baguio at 5pm.

I was a counselor, partner kami ni Jisel. It flattered me to hear her say that she had requested that we be partners again this year just like last year. Had fun with our girls...i felt like I missed so much on the day I was not there yet because they seemed to be comfortable agad with each other. 2 of my campers are from my home church in Taytay so I'm happy, and our former pastor's daughter pauline who I used to teach in VBS and Sunday School for years is now my camper in Youth Camp. Awww...isnt that nice...or bothering? Tumatanda na talaga.

There was a cheering competition, and I joined my girls! Honestly, I think I just had to because I was asked to by the counselor of the boys our cabin was paired with. But given a choice, sana moral support na lang. Okay lang, I didnt have problems with cheering and dancing. I just thought that being a counselor I can be free from the pressure of the rehearsals and performing. Grabe...they were giving away so many prices it suddenly became a big deal to win. Would you believe one of the staff gave away P10,000 in a talent portion? Kaya lahat kinakareer ang cheering at mga games. Sa bible trivia nga, everyone was so cranky and competitive kasi walang gusto magpatalo at ayaw magpadaya. After all the arguing, ang premyo ng nanalo, tig-iisang garapon ng peanut brittle. hehe.

On the last night, as part of the camp tradition, we had our camp banquet and this year's pakulo is having it like a prom. I didnt took it seriously as I thought it was corny, but I was surprised to find that some of the girls really prepared for it, bringing nice dresses, shoes and accessories. While they were preparing, the girls would come up to me asking for help with their dresses, putting on their necklaces, asking help with make-up and stuff, and I gotta to say I really enjoyed that. It was an experience I would never forget, being there for them on an occasion they took seriously. One of my girls was very shy, and I knew she was feeling insecure because she didnt have anything to wear. Yoej, my 14 yr old tropa had an extra dress she wore as a bridesmaid, and I borrowed it from her to lend to this shy girl and I did her make-up as well. She was very nervous as we were lining up with the other girls, and her arms were squeezed tight all over me, and I heard her say "Ate Kehl ikaw ang kalakasan ko." Yeah, it may bu mushy but it is still nice to hear.

Sa entrance sa banquet, the guy would have to give the girl flowers and walk her to her seat, and counselors and staff are included. They made us line up so whoever we get paired up with was totally unplanned and spontaneous. I had a friend who I used to have crush with as a partner, and he also happened to be Jisel's bf. Jisel later told me we were holding hands while walking but I really couldnt remember. Promise.

Another camp tradition that everyone looks forward to, is the camp's last night wherein, wala nang lights off, pwedeng walang tulugan and you may get to talk and spend time with the apple of your eye all through camp, all night. Jisel was asking me makipag-last night daw kami. She has a bf so I was thinking she's thinking of pairing me up with anyone she knew. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I fall asleep because one of the girls were giving me a massage. In the morning, we went to the market to buy some pasalubongs and karen and the girls and I passed by burnham because most of them are baguio first timers and this had been our official gala all week.

We all got into the same bus and kaming mga taga Taytay got home at 6:30 pm. Naligo lang ako then diretso pasok na sa work. I was so tired I was sleeping sa calls. I got a final written warning for that being absent the day before which means I cannot be absent in a year unless Im sick, but that's okay, I had an awesome time. God is good!

An upper and a downer that turns out to be an upper

Yesterday, after service, sabi ni Arjay sakin dalawang magkasunod na linggo na siyang tinatamaan sa shine-share ko sa Sunday School. And that day, before I started sharing, sabi ni Edwin, "patama na naman". Please note that they said it in a way like its a compliment rather than a complaint. So it made me feel good. Na kahit paisa-isa or dalawa, may namomove sa shine-share ko and it keeps me going and makes me want to learn and improve. God thank you.

That night, sinumpong si Tatay ng sakit niya. And I was praying na tulungan kami ni God and I praise and thank Him because He did helped us. And I don't know until when I would have to endure this, but I know whatever happens, God is good, He is in control and I can trust Him.

Sunog na Sinaing

The other day when I came home may naamoy kaagad akong nasusunog na sinaing. Pinatay ko agad ang apoy at pag-check ko, nakupo, naninilaw na sa tutong ang kanin.

Nag-init ang ulo ko. Siyempre nanermon ako kay Tatay, dahil anak ako, tatay lang siya. At kay Rap, dahil si ate ako, si Rap lang siya (may masabi lang). "Andito lang kayo, hindi ninyo naamoy? Kung hindi pa ko dumating, nasusunog na kayo hindi ninyo pa alam?"

I was really disappointed. I felt they were being irresponsible. Kasi I am responsible, I am good, I am the king of the world! Naalala ko tuloy when I was still in RMH, I would always whine to my friends about people and matatawa na lang sila pag sinabi kong "Nakakainis ako lang ang perfect sa mundong 'to, bakit ganun?"

Kanina lang, madaling araw, gising ako doing something, nang may maamoy akong nasusunog. Binalewala ko, afterall, what could possibly be burning? After a while, lumabas ako ng kwarto only to find...natuyuan na ng tubig ang takore. Nagpainit kasi ako ng tubig for coffee, nakalimutan ko din bantayan.

Nahiya ako sa sarili ko.

Kaya nga diba? Don't judge, if you're not a judge.

Matt. 7:1 says "Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging them, it will be used to measure how you are judged.

This experience also reminded me of what 1 Cor. 10:12 talks about: "If you think you are standing strong, be careful, for you, too, may fall into the same sin." You wonder how can a person do such a bad thing to do, tapos when you face the same dilemna, you struggle to overcome, and then you understand. This should not give us an excuse na okay lang magkamali at magkasala. We should be overcomers. But knowing we are not perfect and we are prone to commit mistakes, we should not be overconfident and should be extra watchful. Kasi pag hindi, tutong na pala ang sinaing, or natuyuan na ang takore, or worst, nagliliyab na ang bahay, hindi pa natin alam.

Moral of the story: "Pag nagluto ka, bantayan mo para hindi masunog." - Raqs, all rights reserved 2008.

not much of a good fight

Nanalo si Manny Pacquiao kahapon against Juan Marco Marquez, split decision. My opinion as a non-boxing expert, I felt he could have won a "swabe" victory had he done better on the rounds in the middle. Napatumba niya nung third round, but he failed to follow through on the next rounds, nakabawi tuloy. Nung ilang rounds na lang ang naiiwan, and he hasnt knocked out the opponent yet, dun siya nagmadali. You could see he wanted to knock out Marquez. But it was a struggle, hes got a cut sa mata niya, and so was Marquez. And I was scolding him in front of television "Yan, kasalanan mo yan, ang dami mong sinayang na rounds, ngayon ka naghahabol."

I am confident he could have done better than that. He's dicipline, focus, passionate and determined. Magandang tularan.

I want to be like that. I cant get into boxing but I am inside the ring too.

"Fo we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." Ephesians 6: 12-13.

The enemy is working against our youth ministry sa church. Time na para mag-counter attack.

I got to fight a good fight. I am a soldier. I am confident with my relationship with my Father, pero I felt kulang pa. I havent scored much point yet.

THE TRICKLE-DOWN THEORY OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
-Joyce Meyer, from her book Beauty for Ashes

Jesus loves me, this I know.He loves me unconditionally.
THEREFORE: His love for me is based on who He is.
THEREFORE: I have not earned His love, nor can I earn His love.
THEREFORE: I cannot be separated from His love.When I obey Him, He will bless me.When I disobey Him, there will be consequences for my behavior.He may not like my behavior, but he always loves me.
THEREFORE: Since I have experienced God's love, I know I am lovable.
THEREFORE, since I know that God loves me, I am able to believe that there are people who could love me, too.
THEREFORE, I am able to trust people who genuinely love me.
THEREFORE, I am able to accept the love that those people give to me.
THEREFORE, since my most basic need for love and sense of self-worth have been met by God, I don't need to be "fixed" by other people.
THEREFORE, although I have needs that I look to other people to meet, I believe those needs are balanced and God-given (i.e., companionship, affection, fun). I try to be honest in assessing those needs and in asking for what I need.
THEREFORE, I expect other people to be honest with me. I can handle criticism or confrontation if it is done with love.
THEREFORE, since I know that I am God's special and unique creation, I know that the love I have to give is valuable.
THEREFORE, I don't feel that I have to "perform" for other people. They will either love me for who I am or they won't. It is important for me to be loved for who I am.
THEREFORE, I am able to get my mind off of what others are thinking ABOUT ME and focus on other people and THEIR NEEDS.
THEREFORE, I am able to sustain a healthy, loving, lasting relationship.

BATMAN

Last Wed I got late sa work because of the terrible traffic jam. And it worn me down. I got my first discussion log (memo) and I am not eligible for the P2000 bonus at the end of the 4-week product training. But I realized, instead of letting it pull me down, I will use it as a challenge. That will be the first and last time, and I will really do my best in this company.And I guess it goes for everything else; sa manistry, sa pagsusulat ko, sa sarili kong battles. I am not perfect, I lack things, and I am weak. But I will not run away. I will face these things. Not on my own strength, but with God who believes in me. I have let Him down countless times by hating myself and my life and by letting circumstances defeat me. Now, I will fight for Him. I remember tuloy yung isang activity namin with accent trainor Ed. He asked us to answer the question: Who is your favorite superhero. Just for the heck of it, I answered batman. But while I was thinking of reasons why Batman, I thought of saying, as a kid growing up, he was afraid of bats, but he embraced that fear, and even used it as his character. And all are like that. No matter how great we are we are always weak at some thing, or we have a weakness pulling us down. But we can embrace that weakness and be challenged to do better.Today, I have started writing "thank you's" to God. Minimum 3 items a day. I've always been this negative, sad and difficult person. I will fight that by wanting to be positive.