Saturday, July 25, 2009

Oh The Things I did on My Birthday

A day before "the day" I went on VL and because I'm used to being up at night, I was awake when it turned 12am. Funny...I had planned to go to Baguio to read, to think, to relax. But on that exact day, I was in my own room, on my bed, in front of my laptop. In short, the usual. I was supposed to be in Baguio, but instead, I guess I brought Baguio into my room. Napagtripan ko lang magdownload ng podcast ng Basta Lovelife. Wala lang, just to check it out. It's a radio show Kuya Kevin does and it only airs in Baguio. My first thought when i listened to it was, it sounded weird. I sometimes listen to Against the Flow with DJ Jordan and that's the look/sound/feel I was used to in a christian radio program. So when I wasnt getting that vibe, I was like "what is this?" But as I listened to it, I sort of got into it. Kuya Kevin reads a letter from a listener, then Kuya Erwin and him share their thoughts about it. Then in between breaks they'll play a contemporary Christian song. It was like, Love Notes by Joe d Mango and Against the Flow in one show. Imagine that mix! And these are missionaries, not DJ's, but I thought this Erwin guy is really doing a a great job, he really is. His voice isnt like Jordan Escusa's. Not NU material. It's more of what you'll hear in Magic or RX. Ganun.

In the morning, as I listened to the podcast again, more texts and greetings came in, and I remember having this feeling na...this is great.

I usually do not go anywhere on this day. I used to have this feeling na, nothing should go bad this day. If I stay at home, I'm safe, but if I go out there, I'm giving Satan this perfect opportunity to pick on me. Yeah, that's my crazy mentality. But now, I'm going out of my comfort zone. This is just any other day, only special. I agreed to meet Ate Sarah in MegaMall and while I was waiting, I bought myself, a swimsuit. Oh yeah. I thought, with a physique like this it's a shame that I don't own a swimsuit. (it's a joke, you know how I keep on saying I'm rich but I really ain't? Something like that, get it?)

Pagdating ni Ate at konting gala, we decided to go to Shangrila to visit a college friend who works in Topshop. Inaanak ko yung daughter niya who was born on July 24 as well. Pagdating doon, we were told na naka VL siya kasi nga, bday ng anak niya. Bakit ba hindi ko naisip yun? Ah, kasi sa amin, bday mo nga ang hirap ma-approve ng VL, sa bday pa kaya ng anak mo? Anyway, hindi naman nasayang ang pagpunta namin doon kasi may poetry reading event at may banda. Hindi na namin inabutan yung poetry reading, which is sayang, pero ang galing nung banda. And I was thinking, "Wow, I get to enjoy this music for free?" Sa same area, malapit sa carousel, were these video games booths and when I looked behind me for Ate, I saw her playing this car racing game. Ang sakit na kasi ng paa niya so she bought a token so she can sit on the car seat, played the game anyway, and happened to enjoy it, kasi bumili pa siya ng 2 pang tokens. She dreams of driving her own car, so that was kind of her practice. So there we were, two adults, playing car racing and I thought, we look like 2 people trying hard to have a great time on a short budget. But that was fun. And maybe pathetic.

Imimeet ni Ate yung mga friends niya sa Metro Walk and I took my way to Wensha Spa in Roxas Blvd. Ang plano dapat kinabukasan pa 'ko pupunta doon. Naisipan lang, 'sige ngayon na'. I like those sometimes, mga lakad na wala sa plano. Makes me feel I'm adventurous. Ang gusto ko kasi, spend sometime in a quiet place, to read, think and relax, kaya ko naisipang pumunta ng Baguio. Yung nasa harap ako ng fireplace, enjoying a hot choco, nagbabasa, at ang lamig! I like that. Feeling ko may marereveal sakin sa ganon. But I thought, if that's all I want hindi na siguro ako kelangan lumayo. Maybe I can go to a spa, not those places where you have to go after the massage, but a place I can stay, to do the 3 magic words: to read, to think, and to relax. And ate suggested that I go to Wensha.

So I got there at 9pm, like I planned. Kasi if things don't go out well, atleast hindi ako mabobore. I'd be too sleepy I can sleep, as opposed to going there during the day. But I found out that it was crowded kapag ganoong oras syempre nga naman mga galing sa work. And everything I googled about it were true. Except that, I didnt expect it to be that crowded. Like after the shower, I couldnt dive into the steam bath because you have to go in naked with all those other girls. I tried the sauna, but it was so hot, puro usok, hindi ako makahinga. There was a buffet, but I knew it was something I wouldnt enjoy not only because ang daming tao, but you also have to be in the buffet area only in a robe, and I knew mine was medyo maluwag and I'd be too conscious if it's peeking open once in a while. And all the well-lit places where I could read were crowded, and I will not be comfortable reading in a place where there are other people wearing only a robe. So there was nothing left for me to do, but get the massage. Hindi ko ipagpapalit ang Nuat Thai masssage sa Taytay for that, but it was relaxing nakatulog ako. I woke up at around 12, expecting to feel great, but my foot was hurting which I suspect was from the massage. I got up anyway, freshened up, ate from the buffet table and started reading. It wasnt so crowded anymore that time, but I was feeling terrible. My ankle hurts, at inaantok ako. So I went back to bed, and woke up at 4am. I grabbed my book, went back to the spot in front of the TV. Starmovies was showing a film with Lucy Liu on it which was medyo morbid, parang Texas Chainsaw. And I was thinking, "this is supposed to be relaxing, not horrifying". Good thing patapos na pala yun, and up next was "Outsourced" and I thought I should see it since I myself work in a callcenter. It wasnt so commercialized and no one on it is famous, but it was funny. I'm glad I still gave this place a chance because I had a great time, alone, in front of the TV watching that movie. It might have been the best thing that happened to me in that place. That movie ended at 7, left the place at 7:30.

the robe and the magnetic locker key


I arrived at GCF in Ortigas at 8:20 for this event where Kuya Kevin was speaking. Again, I wasnt disappointed at going. Hindi ko expect na nakakatawa pala siya, funny in an effortless, laid back way. I was trying hard to fight back my giggles every once in a while.

Overall, had a great time. One thing I realized though, is that, the things that I enjoyed the most are the simple things - listening to the Basta Lovelife podcasts, watching that band in the Shang, car racing with Ate Sarah and being on that cozy spot in Wensha and seeing "Outsourced".

Saturday, July 18, 2009

A Book, Down

One of the many things I want to do this year is to finish reading a John Maxwell's book. I bought a leadership book written by him early this year pero nawala ko, at nakakainis isipin na gagastos ako para bumili ng same book na meron na sana ako, so I bought different title, not to mention much cheaper.

Be All You Can Be. Know of a book that is so good and so entertaining, matatapos mong basahin ng isang upuan? Think about a Bob Ong book and you'll know what I mean. Not this book. Atleast hindi para sa'kin. Ang liit-liit ng librong ito, at ang nipis, pero hirap na hirap akong tapusin. Ang liit pero ang daming laman. Title pa lang mukhang motivating, pero humanda ka. This book will show you where you are, and many times, I wound up feeling disappointed , I have to put the book down.

Hindi naman ako matahik hangga't hindi ko natatapos, kaya, parang Jumanji board lang, nanginginig pa ang kamay kong babasahin ko uli ang librong ito hanggang sa hindi na 'ko makahinga isasara ko uli. Nauseating, ganun.

Well, I wanted to read a new book, but I can't until I finish this one. Parang video game, you can't get to level 2 until you're done with level 1. So I decided to face my fear, and today, it is finished.

Woohooo. Another one down.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Found

Found
Hillsong

Amazing love,
now what else shall I need
Your name brings life,
it's more than the air I breathe
My world has changed,
when Your life You gave for me
My purpose found
and all that You want for me

And I've found myself in You, Lord
And I've found myself in You
And I've found myself in You, Jesus
And I've found myself in You, Lord

So take me to a place
where I can see You face to face
and all I wanna do, all I wanna do
is worship You
So take me to a place
where I can see You face to face
and all I wanna do, all I wanna do
is worship You


And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the LORD. Jeremiah 29:13-14 (New King James Version)

Saturday, July 11, 2009

He who finds himself loses his misery

I am blogging about this very personal thing, so I will always be reminded, that once, I struggled really hard in finding myself.

The following are lines I heard from Young Americans which I thought is very relevant.

Be yourself. What a cliche. We hear it over and over in literature, fairytales, songs, but we still don't get it. It might be because when we dream we dont worry whether the dream is worthy of us, but whether we're worthy of the dream. So we lose our identities in order to chase what we want. But if we can stay proud of who we are and not run from ourselves, then maybe our dreams, like the prince with the glass slipper, will come find us.

Resolve to be thyself, and know that, he who finds himself, loses his misery.