Clay-Clay

Nabanggit na ni Ate Sarah that she was going to give me a dog as a birthday gift. When she finally arrived, napa-wow ako when I saw that she is a white pomeranian, but deep inside I was going like "Oh no". Mas high maintenance pa sa'kin 'to eh. Gusto ko sabihin, "Ate, do you really want me to be happy, or do you secretly want to punish me with worries and responsilities?" 

Timid siya at first but she turned out to be a brat, as if she knew she's a pomeranian. Ayaw niya maiiwan ng walang kasama, mag-iingay. Kapag may naamoy na pagkain at curious siyang tikman yun, mag-iingay. Hindi natatakot sa threats at palo, hindi niya alam 'yun. Pero nasurprised ako that she is not maarte at all, as if she doesn't know how pretty and delicate she looks. Cowboy na cowboy. Like kanina, when I took her to the nearest vet for one of her vaccine shots. I hated the idea of spoiling her so hindi ako nagspecial, kalong-kalong ko siya sa likod ng tricycle. She was totally cool with it, ang bait-bait just sitting on my lap, enjoying the ride. Hindi ako pinahirapan at all. So when we got home I kissed her all over just for being behaved dahil super na-appreciate ko siya. Haha. Ganun lang naman ako kadali i-pleased. 

I posted our picture on Facebook and this by far, earned the most number of likes and comments I got in FB, ever. Kung hindi dahil kay Clay, walang makakapansin sa post ko sigurado ako diyan. Hehe. Next time magpalit ako ng profile pic, alam na (come here Clay baby, let's take a picture). Haha.

Thanks pala ulit Ate Sarah for the gift. :)

Bye Peter

Peter died today and I'm beginning to miss him. Abigail his mom is making weird crying sounds.

This is a little video I made of the 3 of us having a little fine time together.

Fine time with Peter from Si Raqs on Vimeo.

Poging Peter

Isa na lang, Robin Scherbatsky na ang peg ko ("I have five dogs!") And this new dog is Peter, not Franco. Nope, I did not just change the name. This was the one with the darker color na hindi ko gusto nung una. Naisip ko kasi hindi ito kay Pablo, nasalisihan siya.  But when I saw his face, baby pa lang I knew he's gonna be a looker. He was also the meekest, acting inferior, as if he knew he doesn't belong. I thought the other two seemed strong and would survive in another home, but this gentle puppy needs me. Yeah, he had me at being gentle. So I decided to keep him and gave Franco away. Nung sinundo na si Franco ng aampon sa kanya, tinago ko pa si Peter sa kwarto dahil baka siya ang magustuhang hingin. Ayoko.

He's super handsome I was just calling him "pogi". Why name him kung ipapamigay din naman diba? But when I decided to keep him, I had to think of a name quick, kasi pag tinawag mo siyang "pogi" lumilingon na siya. Kaya siya naging si Peter. Kahit ano na lang basta 'wag lang "pogi". 

I like taking pictures of our dogs from when they were little until they grow up. It amazes me to see how tiny they used to be in my arms, until the time I cannot carry them anymore.

who wouldn't want to keep this cutie

gusto ko 'to, nanay na nanay ako

Ngayon makulit na siya, spoiled and stubborn, and I would tell him "Niloko mo ko. Nagbait-baitan ka lang para ikaw ang maiwan".  :) But really, he makes getting a fourth dog so worth it.

How I Doggie

I have a confession about this dirty thing I do once in a while. I like to press my face against a puppy's tummy, lalo na if they're busog, and the tummy is round and hard (told ya it's dirty, nagtutunog porno). I first did it to Pablo, and then to Abigail (still sounding porno). This picture is of me doing it to Franco. 

Yeah, I said before that we wouldnt have anymore dogs after Pablo, but we love him so much we knew malulungkot kami sobra kapag nawala siya. So the legacy of the beige dogs has to continue. We were even begging Pablo to give us a a puppy. I was even talking to him saying "gusto ko boy, and gusto ko kamukha mo". When it was taking longer, it came to a point when I was bullying him for being less 'matulis' than his dad (Yogi). "Wala, mahina ka. Wala ka sa Tatay mo". Yeah, I wanted to hurt his ego to give him a little push. But he is just the nicest, in the animal realm, he must be a gentledog (yes, like a gentleman).

Our neighbor's abandoned Shih Tzu keeps coming around when it was Pablo's meal time, and because we have become a dog loving family, we adopted her and named her Sienna. So Pablo did her (haha), and being an alpha male dog (yes, Pablo is the strongest), he protected her not letting any other male dogs come near her. She got pregnant and gave birth to 3 beige dogs, all looking like Pablo. Unfortunately, because she was unhealthy being abandoned, the other 2 died and only the female pup survived: Abigail. 

Just because I did not post pictures of her doesn't mean I don't love her. Siya lang naman ang aso namin na ginawan ko ng video. Hehe. I'm all about animal rights, pero aminado akong sinasaktan ko si Abigail. Sorry po PETA and PAWS. Sobrang kulit eh. Effort alagaan dahil ang daming weird na sakit. All bowel related. Minsan constipated, minsan naman diarrhea. Labo. At nasabi ko na bang makulit siya? Ay oo. Gusto ko lang makasiguradong na-mention kong makulit siya. Dahil sooper kulit siya. Asar-talo talaga ako, nagiging si The Hulk ako. Kung may kapitbahay akong may crush sa'kin panigurado turn off na turn off sa'kin kapag nagtatransform na 'ko. Pero dahil wala naman akong kapitbahay na may gusto sa'kin, hindi ko naman naging problema 'yun. Haha. But I love Abigail so much without me knowing it. Narerealize ko 'yan minsan akala ko mamamatay na siya for being weirdly sick. At nung isang beses umuwi ako isang umaga hindi niya ko sinalubong ng bugbog. Nawawala siya for hours akala ko ninakaw na. I was just so worried about her. About lunch time, nakita na lang siya ng Tatay ko sa kwarto nila, under the bed, nursing 3 puppies. It was pure joy for us finding her there. Una, we thought "Andiyan ka lang pala kanina pa kami nag-aalala sa'yo". Pangalawa, "nanganak ka pala, ni hindi nga namin alam na buntis ka?". It was really a happy moment.  

She gave birth to 3 beige puppies, at nakakatuwang isipin na despite how unhealthy Abigail is, her puppies are the healthiest we ever had, napapagood-job ako kay Abigal. Ang tataba at ang lalakas nila, in just 2 weeks, dilat at naglalakad na. 

So this is one of the puppies, who I call Franco, but is Yogi Junior according to Tatay kay because of the same Y on the forehead. 

And this, my friends, is how I doggie. Hehe.

Ang nag-iisang bebeh ko...

ay ang mahal kong si Pablo. :)

Pablo Beside Me

Sa kabila ng pressures sa work at sobrang init ng panahon, I found peace watching Pablo sleeping right next to me.

Pablo sticking his nose to my waist

Yogi and Me

Euthanasia in dogs- una ko 'tong napanood sa Grey's Anatomy. Pinatulog yung aso ni Meredith Grey dahil sa bone cancer. At alam ko right then and there, ayoko 'tong mangyari kay Yogi.

Nung may napansin ako, natakot akong dalhin siya sa vet. Parang, I couldn't bring myself to take whatever it could be. Nakakamatay ba? Gagaling ba? Paano ang treatment? Magkano?

Diniscourage ako ni Ate Sarah na ipa-undergo si Yogi sa anumang surgery or matinding gamutan. Baka lang daw lalong maghirap at hindi din kayanin. Maraming taon na rin namin nakasama si Yogi, ibigay ko na daw sa kanya na pagdaanan ang sakit niya in a peaceful way and spare him anymore pain.

Nagkaroon si Pablo nun ng problema sa mata at dahil natuto na 'ko (things could have been different for Yogi kung nadetect ng mas maaga) dinala kagad namin siya sa vet. Noon nagkalakas na 'ko ng loob na dalhin na din si Yogi. Corneal ulcer ang kay Pablo na gumaling after 3 days. Si Yogi was diagnosed with TVT-Transmissible Venereal Tumor. Pwedeng i-chemo pero hindi guaranteed ang prognosis. The vet advised me to just put Yogi to sleep. Napanood ko na 'to sa Grey's Anatomy, alam kong ito ang sasabihin ng vet. Sabi ko we will get in touch when it's time. Bago 'ko pumunta sa vet, ginoogle ko na 'yan. May perfect timing din ang euthanasia, and I knew it wasn't the time yet for Yogi.

As the days go by, gusto na nilang patulugin na siya. Sabi ko, not until I know it's time. Biniro ako ng ate na hindi ko lang daw kaya. Naiyak ako. Of course hindi ko kaya. Sana, kung mawawala na siya, sa natural way gaya ng nangyari kay Enna. Hindi madali, you know, to call the shot. Lalo na at nakikita ko pa siyang masigla, malambing at magana. At ang pinakasimple niyan, hindi ko kayang gawin yung sa kanya.

Ginoogle ko ang TVT, at nalaman kong nagagamot ito. I looked around for the best vets, and I chose the animal clinic in Greenwoods Pasig. Mas malayo kesa sa iba pero reasoble ang price, chemo lang hindi gaya ng iba na may surgery pa, at very positive ang vet. At iyan ang weakness ng mga pasyente, yung sasabihin na gagaling pa sila. It was all hardwork- pakainin siya, paliguan, painumin ng gamot, at ang paghahanap ng vet na gagamot sa kanya. Pero hindi ako napapagod. Gusto ko talagang gumaling siya. Yun nga lang, nung nakapili na 'ko ng clinic, nagsimula nang manghina si Yogi. His bloodtest showed he has weak kidneys. Huli na 'ko, naisip ko. Pero naisip ko din, if it's time, it's time. Gusto pa din ng vet na itreat siya-free of professional fee. Nung sinimulan ko'to, alam ko kaya pa ni Yogi. Pero alam ko din kapag hindi na niya kaya.

Dumating sa point na alam kong Euthanasia ang best pero hindi ang pinaka-likable na option. This time, alam ko, it's time, and I care about him so much I don't want him to suffer anymore. Nung tumawag ako sa vet para magpa-appointment, ready na kami ng 9am pero yung clinic hindi pa. Inischedule kami ng 2pm. Tumawad ako, 1pm. Isang oras din yun.

Kalong-kalong ko siya habang hinihintay ang 1pm. Wala na 'kong reklamo. Quality time. I took some pictures gamit ang cameraphone, at gumupit ako ng buhok niya. Remembrance.

1pm, dumating na si Rap at Arjay para sunduin siya. Planado na, hindi ako sasama. I was trying so hard to keep a brave face, cheering him on, assuring him it's okay. Buhat ko siya at nung time na para ipasa ko siya kay Rap, niyakap ko siya at kiniss and it was very, very hard to let go. Alam ko huli na 'yun.

Kinailangan kong umalis ng bahay pag-alis nila dahil ayokong nandun ako pagbalik nila. Yogi being taken out of the house was the last picture of him I want to have in my mind. That was Dec 15.

Pinanood ko yung Marley and Me nung pasko. Pareho ng kapalaran sina Yogi ang Marley, pero sa movie, pinakita kung paano ginawa. Gusto kong panoorin 'tong movie na 'to nung mga panahong hinahanda ko palang ang sarili ko. Ngayon, masasabi kong mas madali para sa'kin panoorin yung movie after it was done kesa before.

Meron pa din kaming Pablo. Hands down, icoconfess kong si Pablo ang pinakacute. I see parts of Yogi in him. Nakuha niya exactly yung mata ni Yogi, buntot ni Yogi at buhok ni Yogi. Pero hindi pa din siya si Yogi. I have learned to love him to the fullest though, because he won't be here very long. Nung namatay si Yogi, I had the same question I asked myself when Enna died- naging masaya kaya siya sa 'min?

I am also determined not to have any more dogs after Pablo (masyado akong na-aatach nakakapagsulat tuloy ako ng madadramang entry sa blog).

Nung naggoo-google ako ng diet para sa mga asong na nagche-chemo, ang dami kong natutunan. I'm now starting to be a health buff. I have learned that fruits and vegetables are more than just good for the skin at hindi lang tayo kumakain para may laman ang tiyan at may lakas ang katawan.

I have also learned how it is to really care, to do anything for someone I care about. I cared for a dog who otherwise would mean nothing to me, but I have chosen to take into my life and treat more than a pet, more than a friend, but a family.

You'll always be missed, Yogi. I love you.

Updates before the year ends

It's been a while since I last posted. Quite a few but major things has happened. I will blog about the details later.

1. Yogi has passed away on December 15. It really was something to write about but I cannot even think where to begin. (I will definitely blog about it one day). It's the worst thing I have to go through this year.

2. Ang lapit na ng bahay ko sa work nakuha ko pang mag-move out. Let's say...I had to do it because I was left with no choice. So now, I live in a fastfood and karinderia diet, live on a budget, keep my stuff in a luggage, and tumble dry my jeans (which I didn't use to do at home, and I hate that I have to do it now because the place doesn't have a decent sampayan!). Hindi na rin ako nakakanood ng TV and because I am such a TV junkie, nagsisimula na 'kong mag withdrawal syndrome.

Worst Thing So Far

Okay. So I went through a life crisis and the account I work for was pulling out. But that didnt break my heart as much as this one does: Yogi is sick with Mast Cell Tumor for dogs and some prostate disease. Heartbreaking talaga. Sometimes I can't help but break down.

I give this to God though, because I know He cares about everything in my life, especially the ones I deeply care about.

I'm doing what I think will make him feel loved and taken cared of. I hardly go out, but now I'm staying home more than I already do because I want him to feel I'm always around. I'm not sure how well I do at trying to be strong, so I distract myself from being sad by reading a lot and watching more TV.

Byebye Enna girl

I'm still broken hearted because Enna is now gone.
Miss you bebe.

Big boy na siya!

I'm crazy about Pablo! So crazy it makes me feel guilty I might be loving Yogi less. This is Yogi, our first. We have this bonding, and he connects to me like he never does to any of the family members. But now that we have Pablo, grrr...he's taking so much of my attention. Ahh..the classic spell of the bunso. Totoo nga pala, iba pag bunso. I understand that now. You love them all just the same, but you treat the bunso in an extra special way.Sometimes I go, "I love you Pablo...(then I would notice the other two) and Yogi, and Enna, and I love you Pablo." =)

Pablo gets my attention because he is the bunso, I feel guilty I could be neglecting Yogi the panganay, but where is Enna in the picture? See how a middle child gets to be treated? (forgive me, I'm a middle child)

Well, I love Enna too, but she's ate's dog and I'm trying to keep a tita-doggie relationship between us because I can tell Ate is already jealous.

You know how it is to have a bff, and then you meet a new friend and you spend more time with her than your bff, yeah, that's another way to put it, this Yogi-Pablo tag of war in me.

Grr...these dogs make me sound silly. Crazy.

Black and White

Alright. So Enna gave birth to 3 puppies. Si Itim, si Puti at si Pablo. The original plan was to gave them all away for adoption because we can't have any more dogs than Enna and Yogi. But Pablo was a classic case of 'love at first sight', and the rest of us like him na so we are keeping him. The family across the street asked for itim, but when it was time for us to let him go, he was smart enough to come back to us. He was still always around our house kasi he still likes to meme and plays around with Pablo and Puti. Puti on the other hand, is the least on the popularity contest kasi babae siya, at nanganganak ang babaeng aso so nobody wants her.

Okay, they were just puppies, no big deal? No, they had been the cause of 'irita' around the house. They would wrestle around, pee here and poopoo there. And when its feeding time, imagine the craziness in feeding 5 hungry dogs.

I had been cranky the past days and I said if only the 2 puppies will go, maybe things will be better. I love dogs, but we can't keep them all. There were enough askal and gala dogs in the neighborhood so nobody would take them. Kung kukuha man, ang kukunin si Pablo, hindi naman pwede sa 'kin yun. I called PAWs but they wouldnt take them either kasi meron daw crazy condition sa behaviour ng mga dogs dun baka hindi sila magsurvive. I was desperate! Naiisip ko nang iligaw na lang sila and let them be homeless all their lives. Which I can't bear. Pero pag naiinis na ko, gusto ko na lang talaga silang iwan somewhere far.

I prayed to God, sabi ko, "God, wag mo naman hayaang maging ganoong klaseng tao at dog owner ako. Please, sana makahanap ako ng kukuha sa kanila."

So I tried the internet. I texted a lady who wants an askal puppy but she lives in Tagaytay. No can do. I posted my own ad, but for a few days walang pumapatol so I kept on searching. I saw an ad of a dad looking to buy a puppy for his kids, and I texted him saying I have a puppy, for free, askal nga lang. We arrange to meet and he would be taking Puti. I was sooo happy.

Itim was about to be given na lang sa Tito ko (though I had doubts sabi kasi ng nanay ko pag lumaki na ang dog pinapakatay). That same night, someone texted me about the puppy. More happiness. He will take Itim.

I met up with Eric in UP for Puti last week, and yesterday met up with Timothy, a 17 yr old nursing student, for Itim. I had to put efforts in doing these but okay lang. Eric said the kids says thanks to me, and it feel nice knowing puti will be taken cared of by the kids. And Timothy has had a pitbull before and knows about dogs so Itim is in good hands. Sa bahay, walang kaganda-ganda sina Itim at Puti samin but Timothy liked how Itim looked and said kahit askal siya maganda siya.

I feel relieved knowing they will be better taken cared of in another family who can focus on them.

I learned from this experience. Of course, this is a case of an answered prayer. God not only cares about big things but also care about little things like this. I also learned that, if we are desperate and determined to solve something, we can lift it up to God and ask His help but also, do our part. Waiting around didnt bring us potential new owners for them. But researching, posting an ad, and contacting people did. There are few things I desire but up until now are just desires. I realized, if God wills it, I can do it. If I want someting bad enough, I may just make it happen with God's help of course.

God is really to me and teaching me new stuff.

Pablo

Yes, he is the new boy in my life! Anak ni Yogi at Enna. The moment I saw him I knew I would like him. Kasi namana niya yung kulay ni Yogi at Enna, na siyempre namana lang din ni Enna kay Yogi (anak ni Yogi si Enna, which makes Pablo his son and grandson, yikes!). I just had this feeling that we have to keep him kasi, I mean, ampon lang namin si Yogi and Enna from another family and another dog, but this darling litle angel, is anak ng 2 naming aso, which makes him our own!

Another reason why I have to keep him: Last year, I gave away Enna's sister Elga to a friend. Elga has been so attached to us na so the moment I had to give her to the new owner, I couldnt stop myself from crying kahit mag-isa lang ako papunta at pauwi. And it took a while for me to recover. Sabi ko hindi ko na uli gagawin yun, to give away a puppie I have been attached to. And Pablo looks so much like Elga. Reincarnation ba?

Okay, oa na. Sorry I can't help it. Pablo really is bundle of joy not only for me but for the family.