Guilty Pleasures

Hindi ako mabisyong tao. Pero lately, hook na hook ako sa pag iinternet ng mga blogs, friendster, pagdodownload ng pictures ng mga cute na girls mula kay rachel bilson hanggang sa olsen twins. At ang bago kong discovery? polyvore.com. nakakaaddict. Shabu 'to sa mga kikay na katulad ko. Sa mga pervert, para siguro tong porn. Hehe. Exag. Hindi nga. Pag-uwi ko sa umaga galing sa work excited na kaagad akong mag "polyvore" (nakana...parang "friendster" lang or "dota").

Alam ko hindi naman masama tong ginagawa ko, pero nagiguilty ako kasi kasi I am spending too much time on it. Pero I can't help it. Nakakaaliw kasi. Nawiwili kasi ako sa mga kikay stuff, sa pink, sa maliliit na butingting atbp na generally hindi naman talaga mapapansin. One time nga, may nakita ako sa tindahan na binebentang neon colored na laste (rubberband), pati yun pinatulan ko. Baka lang kasi one time kailanganin ko diba? Later ko na lang nalaman na sanrio pala ang tawag dun...at 90% ng female population alam na sanrio ang tawag dun, kasama ako sa 10% na hindi.

Ang gastos-gastos ko din ngayon kakabili ng mga kikay stuff. Minsan, pag narerealize kong short na pala ko, at sa mga walang kwenta napunta yung pera ko, iisipin ko na lang, "raquel, yun na nga lang ang bisyo mo eh, pagbigyan mo na sarili mo..hayaan mo na yun..".

Yun pala yung tinatawag na guilty pleasures. Nagiguilty nga ako, pero, natutuwa naman ako eh. Or natutuwa ako, pero nagiguilty naman after.

My other guilty pleasure: kape at coke. Minsan iisipin ko c2 na lang para mas healthy, pero iba pa din pag coke.

Sunog na Sinaing

The other day when I came home may naamoy kaagad akong nasusunog na sinaing. Pinatay ko agad ang apoy at pag-check ko, nakupo, naninilaw na sa tutong ang kanin.

Nag-init ang ulo ko. Siyempre nanermon ako kay Tatay, dahil anak ako, tatay lang siya. At kay Rap, dahil si ate ako, si Rap lang siya (may masabi lang). "Andito lang kayo, hindi ninyo naamoy? Kung hindi pa ko dumating, nasusunog na kayo hindi ninyo pa alam?"

I was really disappointed. I felt they were being irresponsible. Kasi I am responsible, I am good, I am the king of the world! Naalala ko tuloy when I was still in RMH, I would always whine to my friends about people and matatawa na lang sila pag sinabi kong "Nakakainis ako lang ang perfect sa mundong 'to, bakit ganun?"

Kanina lang, madaling araw, gising ako doing something, nang may maamoy akong nasusunog. Binalewala ko, afterall, what could possibly be burning? After a while, lumabas ako ng kwarto only to find...natuyuan na ng tubig ang takore. Nagpainit kasi ako ng tubig for coffee, nakalimutan ko din bantayan.

Nahiya ako sa sarili ko.

Kaya nga diba? Don't judge, if you're not a judge.

Matt. 7:1 says "Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging them, it will be used to measure how you are judged.

This experience also reminded me of what 1 Cor. 10:12 talks about: "If you think you are standing strong, be careful, for you, too, may fall into the same sin." You wonder how can a person do such a bad thing to do, tapos when you face the same dilemna, you struggle to overcome, and then you understand. This should not give us an excuse na okay lang magkamali at magkasala. We should be overcomers. But knowing we are not perfect and we are prone to commit mistakes, we should not be overconfident and should be extra watchful. Kasi pag hindi, tutong na pala ang sinaing, or natuyuan na ang takore, or worst, nagliliyab na ang bahay, hindi pa natin alam.

Moral of the story: "Pag nagluto ka, bantayan mo para hindi masunog." - Raqs, all rights reserved 2008.

On wearing green and eating kornik

Unlike most call-centers, we are required to wear business casual Mon-Thurs, and we go dress-down Fri-Sun. But once in a while, may dressdown for fundraising. This month, we can go dress down as long as our top is green or yellow, and pay P10. (Last month its red or pink, for Valentines).

I wore all green this week.

Hanggang Thursday lang dahil 4 na araw lang pasok ng team namin this week (at last week) kasi we take calls for 10 hrs instead of the regular 7.5hrs. Haay...grabe ang sched na ito. Imagine taking calls for 5 hrs straight before your next break. Today its even 6 hrs! Kahit bawal, ngumangata ako ng boy bawang or dingdong sa station, panlaban sa antok at boredom, sabay lagok ng coke panlaban sa antok! Yari ang atay at bato ko nito.

Next week its back to 5 day/week sched but our sched is 8pm-5am. Yoko ng sched na 'to. Parang ang ikli ng pahinga, lagi akong naghahabol, wala kang mapanood sa primetime bida, log-out ka ng 5am pero uuwi ka ng 7am dahil sa mga roll-outs at meeting, kaya tulog ka agad pag-uwi pero gising ng tanghaling tapat dahil sa init at hindi ka na makatulog! So makakatulog na ko ng late in the afternoon, at gigising ng quarter to 7. Tatamaring pumasok dahil antok pa, maghahabol sa oras, papasok ng late, at uulit ang cycle.

The old me would not like this life. But I have learned to live with it, and get used to it. I am so blessed to have this work to complain, diba? I got to work, because I spend. And looking forward to the things Im able to do and get because I have this job motivates me. Kaya I can still keep going.

Wala pa kong tulog pero okay lang, wala kong pasok mamaya. Lord, thank You!

Transform me

Kakapagod magtake ng calls 10 hrs a day. Last caller ko pa Indian call center agent...I lost my temper. Well hindi na bago yun. I had this reputation na galit ako sa Indian. Hindi ako racist. Yoko lang talaga nakakakuha ng caller ng call center agent din tapos Indian. Panira ng AHT (average handling time). Sulit call yang mga yan. We can assist them with 3 members per call, sasagarin talaga nila. Minsan hihirit pa ng pang-apat o panglima. And they would ask everything. Okay lang kung madali sila intindihin, kaso hindi. Di mo na nga maintindihan, ang bilis pang magsalita, pabulong naman ang boses. So you would keep on asking them to repeat what they said. At ganun din naman sila. Hindi rin sila madaling makaintindi. Papaulitin ka din. Paulit ulit talaga. Tinanong na niya at nasagot mo na, maya-maya itatanong uli. Rewind ito?

Yung katabi kong si Apol tells me a funny story from the movie Transformers. I havent seen it pero the way she tells it tawang-tawa na ko. There was a guy daw sa gitna ng gera who called up 911 but his call got transferred sa Indian rep. Natataranta na siyang nanghihingi ng backup, parang wala lang sa call center na busy picking his nose. Nagagalit na yung caller, sabi ng rep "that attitude won't speed up the process." They can't seem to get through each other, maya-maya nag-upsell na lang 'tong si call center rep. =) Nasa gitna siya ng gera bebentahan pa siya.

Sabi ko nga, I have nothing against Indians. It just so happens, kayang-kaya nila akong inisin, lumalabas tuloy ang totoo kong kulay. As much as I want to be sweet and nice, nasasagad talaga pasensiya ko at nagtatransform ako into a green monster. I do not like that. Totoo. It's not attractive. I really want to work it out. I want to be gentle and patient. I want to be easy to be with. I want to live a changed life kasi, if not, how different am I sa ibang hindi alam kung ano ang "fruit of the spirit".

Its not easy pero I will be more conscious and watch myself, my words and my eyebrows. =)

not much of a good fight

Nanalo si Manny Pacquiao kahapon against Juan Marco Marquez, split decision. My opinion as a non-boxing expert, I felt he could have won a "swabe" victory had he done better on the rounds in the middle. Napatumba niya nung third round, but he failed to follow through on the next rounds, nakabawi tuloy. Nung ilang rounds na lang ang naiiwan, and he hasnt knocked out the opponent yet, dun siya nagmadali. You could see he wanted to knock out Marquez. But it was a struggle, hes got a cut sa mata niya, and so was Marquez. And I was scolding him in front of television "Yan, kasalanan mo yan, ang dami mong sinayang na rounds, ngayon ka naghahabol."

I am confident he could have done better than that. He's dicipline, focus, passionate and determined. Magandang tularan.

I want to be like that. I cant get into boxing but I am inside the ring too.

"Fo we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." Ephesians 6: 12-13.

The enemy is working against our youth ministry sa church. Time na para mag-counter attack.

I got to fight a good fight. I am a soldier. I am confident with my relationship with my Father, pero I felt kulang pa. I havent scored much point yet.

Thanks to Motorola phone tools

It's 2:45 am. Pumasok ako for rest day OT 3 hrs. Coming home I had my phone loaded para maka-internet. I heard about people using their cellphones to browse the net. Pero using you cellphone as a modem, sa laptop or PC, like wat I am doing right now? Elib na elib talaga ko. =) Pinagtawanan ako once sa work kasi I use ctl alt del in locking my PC. Old school daw. Siguro nga. Sanay ako magpunta sa computer shop or magdial up para mag-internet, kaya getting connected to net using my cp is amaaazing to me...galing!

THE TRICKLE-DOWN THEORY OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
-Joyce Meyer, from her book Beauty for Ashes

Jesus loves me, this I know.He loves me unconditionally.
THEREFORE: His love for me is based on who He is.
THEREFORE: I have not earned His love, nor can I earn His love.
THEREFORE: I cannot be separated from His love.When I obey Him, He will bless me.When I disobey Him, there will be consequences for my behavior.He may not like my behavior, but he always loves me.
THEREFORE: Since I have experienced God's love, I know I am lovable.
THEREFORE, since I know that God loves me, I am able to believe that there are people who could love me, too.
THEREFORE, I am able to trust people who genuinely love me.
THEREFORE, I am able to accept the love that those people give to me.
THEREFORE, since my most basic need for love and sense of self-worth have been met by God, I don't need to be "fixed" by other people.
THEREFORE, although I have needs that I look to other people to meet, I believe those needs are balanced and God-given (i.e., companionship, affection, fun). I try to be honest in assessing those needs and in asking for what I need.
THEREFORE, I expect other people to be honest with me. I can handle criticism or confrontation if it is done with love.
THEREFORE, since I know that I am God's special and unique creation, I know that the love I have to give is valuable.
THEREFORE, I don't feel that I have to "perform" for other people. They will either love me for who I am or they won't. It is important for me to be loved for who I am.
THEREFORE, I am able to get my mind off of what others are thinking ABOUT ME and focus on other people and THEIR NEEDS.
THEREFORE, I am able to sustain a healthy, loving, lasting relationship.