Miss-Quote

We have a daily 15 minute huddle at work and Customer Service Reps are assigned each day to facilitate. By facilitate, I meant to act like the host, giving the floor to people with updates to discuss like the workforce, QA, Coaches, TL’s and the OM. Why do they do it? To torture us and expose us to stage fright until we’re numb to it. Chos. I think matutuloy naman yung huddle kahit walang CSP na facilitator. But since this company puts high premium in people development, gusto lang siguro nila kami bigyan ng exposure to be in that place – hell in front of people.

I was asked to facilitate Thursday and Friday and I just said okay to it. It's pointless to avoid it because it’s on rotation and everyone gets assigned at one point or another. This was my third time to do it.

I am this awkward girl who suffers in small talk let alone speak in front of a floor filled with people. So hindi ito parang na-assigned lang akong magtapon ng basura. It’s terrifying. Para akong nautusang magtapon ng basura sa madilim na eskinita na maraming ipis, daga at ahas. Gusto mo ‘yun?

What makes it extra dreadful is the pressure of owning the moment. They are giving you the permission to be impressive but if you take the risk, be aware that there is chance to fail miserably. It’s make or break. Meron isang nagpauso magrecite ng memorable quotes at mula noon yun na ang naging pamantayan. Bwisit na ‘yan. I remember someone even sang. A friend of mine delivered a bible verse. Those who are too cool to give a damn won’t bother doing anything.

I wanted to be one of those who are too cool to care, but I prepared a quote in case makantiyawan. Ayan tuloy, nakantiyawan nga. So with my red face (someone said so) and with shaking voice and hands, I read a Brandon Boyd quote I wrote on a crumpled Post-It I was holding, added 1 or 2 sentences about it, and surprisingly, I think they liked it. It’s one of those moments na pakiramdam mo nakachamba ka pero alam mong hindi ba mauulit. But on Friday I chose a Francis Kong quote and I thought I did even better than the day before. Our OM remembered me for it.

I can never act cool around compliments. I’d always be uncomfortable, letting out an awkward pout and a shy smile. But this time I felt like I was in kindergarten stamped with a star for reciting in class. I was still awkward but I was grinning ear to ear! Nagbow pa ako nung Thursday, no kidding. How I wish I was making this up but this really happened. Naalala ko tuloy yung Little Miss Philippines. (May kasabihan po tayo, bow. )

Yun lang hindi makamove on no, bin-log ko pa. Actually, may natutunan ako and that is why I am writing about it. 

This is what I realized. Minsan we just want to blend, be normal, be just like everyone else. That’s a safe place. I could have chosen to not share any quote and do it like the rest and just be done with it. It’s cool to act like you don’t care. It’s baduy to recite a quote. But nobody benefits if we play small. I remember a quote from the movie Coach Carter which has a new meaning to me now, it totally makes sense. We hide our light kasi ayaw natin matawag na pabibo. But that is like refusing to stand out because mediocrity is the norm. It doesn’t help anyone. Our OM said that the huddle facilitators should do it like I did (nagkantiwayan mga teammates kong lalaki , lalo tuloy akong nahiya).  Someone who accepted the challenge told a parable at kinabog ang lola mo. Nagbiro yung teammate ko, next time daw essay and ihanda ko. Uneasy yung feeling ng ganun, yung bumabalik pa din sakin yung joke. Haha. But I like it that my colleagues are being creative, because seriously, masaya siya. We would go back to our stations laughing and smiling and teasing each other.

Is this just about preparing something for the daily huddles?  No.

Life is more than just these 15 minute shining moments. There’s a big world to conquer and battles to fight out there. We should discover our unique gifting and give it our best. If it’s sports you are good at, play big and work hard and never stop growing. But don’t forget to be humble. There is a thin line between embracing who you are, self promotion and insecurity. I notice the insecure people are most likely the ones who tend to brag.

While being excellent is a good thing, I have to constantly remind myself that what makes it a curse it when we start to think of ourselves as better than others.  Aaminin kong meron akong issue sa mga taong more than thinking highly of themselves, ipaparamdam pa sa’yo na mas lamang siya. I am not attracted to those. I like excellence that inspires, not belittles.

God did not give me the looks of a supermodel. But he made me smart and sensitive, I think. He gave me a heart that breaks and rejoices even for the little things in life. In embracing my unique hard-wiring, there is less energy spent in making an impact however small it is, because that is how I was naturally made. (Kung makasabi ako na smart ako akala mo kung sinong may pangontra sa nuclear weapon ng Korea no? I also realized calling myself sensitive is like claiming I’m humble. You don’t announce these things. )

Let me end this post by sharing this quote from the movie Coach Carter that resonates to these thoughts I’m having.  Yes, another quote. I must have an affinity for them. Haha.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Quotes for Timo Cruz from Coach Carter (2005)