Why Do We Hurt the Ones We Love

Automatic na sa 'kin ang magconnect sa Wi-Fi kapag dumarating ako sa office everyday. This is how I get updated sa social media kasi wala kaming internet sa bahay. I was browsing through some tweets one day and read a joke tweeted by Patty Laurel. She's always like that, corny jokes and all and I'm used to it. That day though, I was either having a bad day or the joke may have been extra corny, I had to quote it and add a piece of my mind. I made sure to remove the @ sign though because I did not want for her to read that. Tapos, tinabi ko ang phone ko at hinarap ang computer para paniwalain ang sarili ko na handa na akong magtrabaho. Tumunog ang phone, may nagtext, or so I thought. When I checked it, I couldn't believe my eyes. @pattylaurel replied to @SiRaqsAko, I said "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God". Tapos narealized ko, para yatang hindi siya masyadong masaya and why in the world did she get to read my tweet eh hindi dapat! "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God" ulit ako nang mas malakas this time. Nilapitan na ako ng mga katabi ko kasi akala nila kung ano na nangyari sa 'kin. In my head I was thinking, sasagot ba ako? Natakot din ako sa thought na ako na ang sunod na Amalayer. 

Siguro yung ibang tao paninindigan na lang yun, and that makes sense. People bash in social media all the time, this is one of those. It's also way cooler to appear like you don't care. So she was pissed at my tweet, o tapos? 

But for what it's worth I had to tweet back. I had to call myself a Twitter moron and say I'm actually a fan and apologize. Why? Well for one, totoo naman kasi yun. I am really a fan and I'm sorry she read my tweet because I did not know how Twitter works. Secondly, I can tell she was pissed kahit na naglagay siya ng smiley. We are entitled to having our own opinions, but not to ruining anybody’s day or mood through harsh words. Especially not her's because she is always very encouraging to others. 

The funny thing is, I never direct tweet celebrities, I only follow those I really like. Minsan na lang napansin ng sikat ang tweet ko sablay pa. And before this, my Twitter account was always protected. I made it public just this time at eto ang nangyari -  a classic case of a girl who was always afraid of flying, and that one time she had the courage to try it, the plane unfortunately crashed.

The idea of getting a tweet from the celebrity you really like is thrilling, but not in this light. Tragic story of a fan girl. I tweeted then that I would be writing something about this entitled "Why do we hurt the ones we love?" It was just a random thing then, if anything I was only making fun of myself. But because of a recent incident with my father lately, this now makes perfect sense. 

This is how the bomb fell. The other night before going to work, I had an exchange of words with Tatay. Though my points were valid, I should have just kept them in my brain because they were hurtful. I went to work with no peace that night. It was killing me to be at the office when I should be at home apologizing. 

And then I thought, sa ibang tao we are careful of our words either because ayaw natin makaoffend or we care about how they will react. Pero dun sa mga taong we claim to love, we just say whatever we like. I was quick to apologize to Patty because I cared about how she felt. She did not reply and she even deleted her tweet to me. She basically just moved on with her life.

David Bonifacio has a point when he said we care about how we appear to other people na wala naman pakialam sa atin when in fact, dapat yung attention na yun binibigay natin sa mga taong mahal natin like our family. 

I look for love, but how do I care for my parents, the very people God placed for me to love. 

I also realized how careless I am with my words. I usually have a good grasp of self-control in most things, except this mouth! I just can't tame it. I don't really get bothered anymore by what others may think of me when I blab, but I guess when it gets me in trouble that oughta make me think. 

Yeah, yeah, this post has mother Teresa stamped all over it but I will never be embarrassed of it. It has more sense and meaning than some stuff people post in social media these days.