My American Idol Experience

Hindi, hindi ako nag-audition sa American Idol.

Pero alam ko na ang pakiramdam.

Nagkaroon ako ng opportunity na mahire sa isang call center na: pioneer account, wave 1, senior agent ka, tapat ng Galleria ang location (which is good because I go to VCF there), okay ang pay, boss mo yung dati mong boss, at...ipapadala ka sa Ohio para sa training.

Emotional turmoil. Torture. Kinailangan kong maglakad pabalik-balik sa Buendia pagkatapos ng interview para lang marelax ako.

Pero ang pinakaheartbreaking sa lahat...kukunin ka na sana nila...kaso wala kang passport. Hihintayin ka nilang magkapassport pero 3 days lang dahil kelangan pang mag apply ng visa.

Nakita ko ang sarili kong parang contestant sa American Idol. Hopeful, goal oriented, at desperate. Kakayanin kong tumawid ng alambre para lang magka-passport ng time na yun. Ang problema, wala ka naman alambreng tatawirin.

Sa training class dati tinanong kami kung ano yung dream destination namin. Umuulan ng Paris ang mga sagot nila. Ako lang ang nagsabi ng US. Hindi ako into travel, kasi nga homebuddy, introvert at emo ako. Pero if I have to go anywhere abroad, US talaga.

Sayang. Pero I will not pretend na kunwari na lang walang nangyari. It hurts, but since I've learned a lot from it, this experience is not bad at all.

I have learned to submit to the divine power I cannot control- God's will. If God wants me to have this job, He'd make away. Otherwise, I have to accept that I'm getting a 'no' from Him on this one.

Nagpunta sa Singapore si Ate last year and inaya niya akong mag-ayos ng passport kasabay niya. Naiisip ko, wala naman akong balak mag-abroad anytime soon, bakit ako kukuha? Wrong move. Very bad decision. Opportunities knock pala, you have to be prepared for it.

And nag-struggle ako with spiritual frustration and what I believe is a quarterlife crisis, diba? The best of all, through this experience, I see things back in the perfect light. And if this disappointment is what God has to bring in my way to end of this period in my life, then it's worth it.

I was rooting for Alex Lambert pero natanggal na din siya. Dang.