Aslan

A few days ago, I had a heated argument with mom about the theology of deserved tragedy. I just felt I had to say it to her. I can't let her walk around telling people that when bad thing happens it's God correction. Not always mom.

Here's how it happened. I told her that my colleague's house got caught in a fire and they lost everything. I told her they are Christians too. I told her this because I thought it could be a nice topic for a conversation. But instead, she said something that ignited an unreasonable reaction from me. 

This is my mother I am talking about. I know she is not the unloving judgemental Christian lady I accuse her to be. She is the best person I know. If anything, she is just like me - we just can't express our thoughts very well.  It's just that, I am easily angered by this issue lately. It's kind of personal to me. 

I met this person who's done terrible things in the past. Like broke one of the ten commandments? Not murder, but the one that has to do with someone else's wife? I know! Let's just say  I would sometimes ignore people who I can't respect. So if he is all that and I still want to talk and hang, I must have found something, right? (That, or I'm a poor judge of character). I found myself wishing he would know of God's love and how deep and wide and perfect it is. This is still true even after he told me he [also] likes another girl. This is not me.

While I have no trouble admitting that I am angry, broken, unloving and unlovable, let down and hurt, I still have the resolve to talk about God's love, because none of what I did or what has been done to me can make me change my mind about it. And I'm not even that kind of a believer who openly talks and posts about my faith. I just feel passionate about this.  I am saddened that there are people who are allergic to the idea of God because He was misrepresented by religion and people who claim to be His followers. Myself included. 

God is Aslan in Narnia. He is strong and powerful but we need not worry because He is good. He disciplines those He loves but His voice is gentle that would lead us to repentance. I am not a pastor or theologian. I am talking from experience I guess.

I wrote this on my cellphone right after my mom walked out on me. I wanted to justify my behaviour to deal with the guilt. A few hours later, she came back as if nothing happened. She really is one of the better people in the world.