Thursday, September 03, 2009

Those were the days...

I'm going through this weird thing right now. Everytime I remember the past, I feel sad because I like it better how things used to be. Like in the past 2 years, I like how passionate I was about my faith, how thankful I was and how peaceful I felt. And the past 5 years or so, I like how simple things were. I remember owning a Nokia 1100 for 2 years, by choice, not complaining, and liking it. I was very simple, the things I like were very simple, but I had a very big dream.

I know it's not right to look at the past but hindi ko naman mapigilan. I said before that I have many demons inside. This is one example. I choose to deal with it though and go through it.

There is this consuming desire in me to accomplish something, to do something bigger than myself. I've been going through this "quarterlife crisis" for a few months now and I'm happy to say I am doing better.

I am a lot better than I used to be. In many ways, I am better. I just miss how I didnt have to go through some identity crisis because back then I knew myself, I knew what I want, I was passionate about something and I was a small town girl with a dream.

I am now working on pursuing the things that matters to me, and the things I know counts. Nakakalungkot lang na kailangan ko pang maconfused.

This is why I need God in my life. I'm hopeless without Him.

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updated 12/04/2009 . I learned from Kuya Kevin that this is feeling is called "Nostalgia" (a longing for the past).

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