Monday, September 21, 2009

Another one, done!




It was supposed to have been my "parting gift" for TL Chester, pero nahiya ako sa idea na mukha akong creepy stalker.

Isa ito sa mga nasa "to do" list ko para sa 2009- do a charcoal drawing, again. Lalo na ngayon nag-aadvance midlife crisis ako, gusto kong i-explore ang aking "artistic" side, kung meron man.

I heard it from watching "Glee"- ito ata yung tinatawag na..."creative outlet".

Naisip ko din...kahit ano pang pagpapaliwanag ko, mukha pa rin akong obsessed fan.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Rainy Days

It's been raining for weeks now. Ayoko ng umuulan ng ganito katagal. Ang tagal magpatuyo ng damit, basa ang paligid, at sa lugar namin sa bundok na may ginagawang subdivision sa tabi, good luck naman sa putik. Nakakatamad umalis ng bahay. At kahit pa mamotivate mo ang sarili mo na pumasok sa trabaho, timing na timing naman na kung kelan ka paalis ng bahay saka bubuhos ang malakas na ulan. Grrr. Asar talaga.

It's been announced- ibabalik ang account namin onshore. Dahil daw sa healthcare reform act ni Obama. In fairness naman I saw it talaga on TV. Hindi ko pa nga sana ipapaalam sa bahay pero when I saw it on CNN, I went like "Naku totoo yan, yung account namin naapektuhan niyan kaya hanggang November na lang kami." Nacarried away ako.

I wasn't really devastated. Don't get me wrong. I like this account and the people and the company, but the announcement came in a perfect timing. Tinatamad na lahat so it was like, pinipilit mo pang kayanin, pero they decided na for you. What hit me hard is the reality of it all happening right in front of your face. I thought the recession couldnt touch healthcare, because it's healthcare! Americans can give up their internet or cable subscription but they cannot give up on their health. But we've heard that it is one of Obama's agenda to bring the jobs back to the U.S. And it's happening.

So, there I have some serious thinking and planning to do in the next coming days para sa future ko.

Yesterday, one of my colleagues told me somebody says "hi" to me, and at first he wouldnt tell who it was and he wanted me to guess. Syempre hindi ko nahulaan. So he told me, it was his big brother who was my classmate in highschool. And I was shocked that they are even brothers! I knew we saw each other one day, and I knew who he was, pero dedma lang. Well this HS classmate asked his brother if he knows a certain me in the healthcare account, and he's very lucky because we're even teammates! At iniisip ko, ano nga bang mga pangyayari nung nagkita kami. Siguro ang ganda ko nun? At naalala ko...yun yung araw na sumugod ako sa malakas na ulan dahil late na ako at mukha akong basang sisiw.

Kaya ayoko ng ulan. Pero naalala ko, last Sunday sabi ko sa Nanay ko, nakakatamad umalis ng bahay, nakakatamad magsimba dahil sa ulan. Natawa ko sa sagot niya, sabi niya, "Wag, bad! Balance ni God yan, para sa farmers!" sabi ko nalang , "Tama! Para sa rice!"

I've been craving for a salad all-week, Wendy's salad bar style. Hehe, I decided to make my own. Gusto kong matutong magluto ang una kong subok hindi man lang dumaan sa apoy.

the plating and the garnishing isn't bad di ba? =)

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Those were the days...

I'm going through this weird thing right now. Everytime I remember the past, I feel sad because I like it better how things used to be. Like in the past 2 years, I like how passionate I was about my faith, how thankful I was and how peaceful I felt. And the past 5 years or so, I like how simple things were. I remember owning a Nokia 1100 for 2 years, by choice, not complaining, and liking it. I was very simple, the things I like were very simple, but I had a very big dream.

I know it's not right to look at the past but hindi ko naman mapigilan. I said before that I have many demons inside. This is one example. I choose to deal with it though and go through it.

There is this consuming desire in me to accomplish something, to do something bigger than myself. I've been going through this "quarterlife crisis" for a few months now and I'm happy to say I am doing better.

I am a lot better than I used to be. In many ways, I am better. I just miss how I didnt have to go through some identity crisis because back then I knew myself, I knew what I want, I was passionate about something and I was a small town girl with a dream.

I am now working on pursuing the things that matters to me, and the things I know counts. Nakakalungkot lang na kailangan ko pang maconfused.

This is why I need God in my life. I'm hopeless without Him.

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updated 12/04/2009 . I learned from Kuya Kevin that this is feeling is called "Nostalgia" (a longing for the past).