PICTORIAL

I recently got my a razr phone. Kahit laos na, it still is my dream phone. I had my pictures taken and I had fun with it. Here are the samples.

BATMAN

Last Wed I got late sa work because of the terrible traffic jam. And it worn me down. I got my first discussion log (memo) and I am not eligible for the P2000 bonus at the end of the 4-week product training. But I realized, instead of letting it pull me down, I will use it as a challenge. That will be the first and last time, and I will really do my best in this company.And I guess it goes for everything else; sa manistry, sa pagsusulat ko, sa sarili kong battles. I am not perfect, I lack things, and I am weak. But I will not run away. I will face these things. Not on my own strength, but with God who believes in me. I have let Him down countless times by hating myself and my life and by letting circumstances defeat me. Now, I will fight for Him. I remember tuloy yung isang activity namin with accent trainor Ed. He asked us to answer the question: Who is your favorite superhero. Just for the heck of it, I answered batman. But while I was thinking of reasons why Batman, I thought of saying, as a kid growing up, he was afraid of bats, but he embraced that fear, and even used it as his character. And all are like that. No matter how great we are we are always weak at some thing, or we have a weakness pulling us down. But we can embrace that weakness and be challenged to do better.Today, I have started writing "thank you's" to God. Minimum 3 items a day. I've always been this negative, sad and difficult person. I will fight that by wanting to be positive.

On Getting Healed

I had this pimple problem. Ever since 2nd year college, my face continues to break out. Its genes I know. Si nanay was pimple prone and tatay has oily skin.
I always had been picking my zits. I never learn.But the week of May 14-25, 2007, I had this horrible experience with it, which I guess turned out to be for the better naman. I picked a small zit, at nainfect ito, giving me a huge, red, very obvious mark sa cheek ko, just beside my nose. I was so embarassed. I couldnt go out. Whenever I look at it in the mirror, totoo, I felt like passing out. I couldnt forgive what I'd done to myself. And I noticed, iyon na lang ng iyon ang napapansin ko. I couldnt do anything else. And I knew that's not right. So I prayed to God for healing. Maybe not just for the pimple but for a deeper wound in me. Always before, and maybe until today, I had always been very conscious about how I look. Whenever I look in the mirror, I am not satisfied with what i see. I felt I would be important and valuable if I look better. So I was focusing on it, and always feeling disappointed. Hindi ko na naisip that there are other things I can do too.And I had kept me from reaching my maximum potential.
So one night I prayed, crying, sabi ko God, I need to be healed from this. And I wrote out my thoughts:
WHY SHOULD I BE HEALED GOD?1. It's worth my self-confidence. And I need to be confident so I can serve God.2. It's making me unproductive, making me waste so much time and that is ungodly.3. Robbing the joy in me. Jesus came that I may have life and have it in its fullness.
WHAT AM I LEARNING FROM THIS?1. Never to touch my face again. The consequences are horrible.2. Not take matters into my own hand. 3. I am a gifted, talented, intelligent person being destroyed by this! I have to breakthrough, I have so much potential.4. If I'm well (at the time of writing, my cheek was red), I will do my best and make the most of myself.5. Contrary to thinking I can do little, now, I know I can do so much!6. My life is so much valuable to be wasted by this. If I have to spend so much to get my "life" back, it is worth it!7. There are so many hurting and sick people out there, like me, suffering from something worse than a pimple. Some of them even hurting physically! I know how they feel now. To hurt inside and to lose confidence, and to lose hope and not to want to live anymore. 8. If I have a big problem, I turn to God. But I take charge of a tiny little pimple, which then turns out to be my biggest problem. I learn to consult God in even the slightest issue. I had bigger problems than having a zit, pero I seeked God, and came out victorious. Funny, I was so defeated by a pimple. Kasi nga, it hit me where it hurts the most: MY FACE, MYSELF, AND MY HUNGER FOR APPROVAL. I am guilty of Idolatry and my golden idol is myself.
As embarassing as it is, I wrote this out so I will never forget the lesson I learned from that experience. I am feeling better now. But I have gone through this for a long time, and I know I am still in the process of total healing. But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I Miss Lilibeth

Haay, last time I checked my friendster i sent a message to Lilibeth. Now, I got a short reply. Nasa Taiwan na pala siya, almost 4 months na.

Nalulungkot ako. Namimiss ko siya. Mabait kasi siya, and she's someone I want to keep forever.
Ito na naman ako, nagsesenti. Nag do-those are the days. Lumulungkot tuloy ako. You know how pipol never get contented, na parang the old times were always better than now, pero during those times, whine din ako ng whine.

Haay. I miss her. Iiyakan so siya. Pero mamaya na siguro, pag mag-isa na lang ako.

Its Friday again, bilis ng araw. Nung July 4th, siyempre holiday uli sa states, konti lang calls, enna created her own blog, but she was keeping it from me. I tried to look it up, and in doing so, I found a blog, The New York Italian, by a guy named Matthew.

What caught my interest was his blogs about his faith, about being a Christian.
I never thought of posting a bible passage in my blog. Im not saying it's wrong, it just never came into my mind. I admire him for doing that.

I guess it's official, I can call myself a sad person. Kanina lang, bumalik na naman yung feeling ng boredom. I know I am busy, pero bored!

Missing my Amber friends

Tiningnan ko yung friendster ni Elbert, gosh, andun yung mga pics namin sa LAguna at nung bday ni Elbert. Naiiyak ako, namimiss ko sila
Pero, naiisip ko rin, baka past na talaga sila. May mga bagay siguro na hindi na talaga mababalik. May memories na lang na iniwan para balik-balikan. Haay, lungkot.

Matamis ang tagumpay

Absent ako kahapon, Lunes pa naman. Ayoko kasi mag-costume ng britney spears (may ganong factor kasi), at, at, masakit talaga lalamunan ko (oo, totoo un, walang biro). SObra talaga akong down, feeling ko katapusan ko na. Feeling ko failure na naman. Muntik na ko magprint out ng resignation letter. Eh si enna, sabi ubusin ko na lang daw ung points ko. ngaun 5 points na ko. Hanggang 8 lang. meron pang 3 points. cige lang.

Pagpasok ko ngayong Martes, wow, pasok ako sa top-15. Ang ranking? Pang 15! Hehe, nakasabit. Konting alugin lang ang standing tiyak laglag ako eh. Wow, sweet victory tlaga. Three-five yun sa next friday! At, meron na naman akong national monitor (yung call na na-monitored ng mga taga States). Nakakainis! 96 lang naman.